My name is
by rainbow'n'charcol
Summary: A collection of one-shots with songs, feelings, and a lot of characters.Each chapter will feature one character and a song that connects with them.I'll take in requests for future chapters of characters anyone would like to read about.Please read, enjoy, and review!
1. Raphael

**Yay, ninja turtles! I was watching tmnt lately and I just felt like I'm in a turtlely mood so this happened. I'd like to think of this as a collection of one-shots(that may become more than just one-shots)**** with a song incorporated into each chapter corresponding to the character. I'll take in requests for future chapters if anyone would like to. So anyways thanks for reading, enjoy, and please review. :)**

**Rated R for Raph and his potty mouth**

**I don't own TMNT or the song**

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If You Have to Ask- Red Hot Chili Peppers

It's early August, smack in the middle of the unbearable heat of summer, but it's humid out tonight. Dark clouds roll their way over the city. I'm surrounded by some lowlife thugs; they got nothing better to do but I don't either so it's cool I think. They just made my night even better. I grin with Sais at hand; they circle 'round me, swingin' their bats an' chains. These wannabe gangsters really think they can be like those 'badass' Purple Dragons; dumbasses. Heh, so what if they robbed some banks and lil ol' ladies, it ain't much to meet my standards. Not my kind of guys ya know, I'd want a lil more of a challenge but these punks would have to do for now. One, I think their leader, a douchebag with tattoos on every inch of his body and a stupid green Mohawk, points a finger at me.

"Sock 'im, boys!"

"What? No intros?" nah, these guys got no manners so they charge forth but I don't got manners either. They clash into each other as I leap backwards and only a few manage to find me again to swing their bats and shoot. They're just armatures using toys too good for 'em. They could poke their own eyes out. Speakin' of which, I slash a guy's eye out and he screams, thrashes 'round before accidentally poking his other eye out. I kick ass after ass, stab a log of meat after meat, and end reproduction. They lay in sad piles. Just a few and reinforcements come from I don't know where. Who cares, I'm really happy now. I beckon 'em with my hand.

"Anybody wanna come get some?" of course they do; they all at once run at me, weapons high above their heads. But two getting punched in the chin, three kicked away to the left, one stabbed is enough to slow the rest and make 'em hesitate. Big mistake. I take 'em down in, I dunno know, a few seconds. Yeah, couldn't be a minute or two. The leader still stands, my wide open, lookin' back and forth, between me and his homies. He stumbles to run across the street and into the shadows of the ally. I love a good chase. Jumping across the street using the lamp post I hold onto a fire escape and have clear visual of 'im. He really thinks he can run away. Motherfucker will not be told to go, not when I'd like to kick his ass. He turns 'round over and over before I leap down into a shadow and push him down from behind. He quivers on the ground, sucks his thumb and I think he just pissed himself. Gross. I pick 'im up off the ground by the collar.

"P-please don't kill me! I'll give you anything, you name it." I pretend to think but instead I spat out a 'nah' in his face. He gulps.

"Please, please, please, please! Don't kill me! Just who do you think you are!" this catches my attention-

"Well, if you have to ask,"-but I'm done with 'im. I punch 'im unconscious on the ground and leave 'im there.

"Actually, you'll never know."


	2. Leonardo

** Second chapter already :) cookie anyone?**

**I don't own TMNT or the song**

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What We Don't Know- Linkin Park

I can't see yet I can feel the vibrations take form into shapes behind my eye lids. They're perfectly clear; the weapons, the men, the movements, the heartbeats, they're all so clear! I swing my only katana to the left, cutting one and sending him flying it seems. They come all at once like the dishonorable men they are. I would have expected them to; they are after all the Foot. One by one I cut down the ones who dare to come near me. I don't let one sneak by. I won't let them get near my poor baby bother! From my feet I can feel his shallow breathing the strongest but, it's getting harder for him to breathe. The snow's beginning freeze the remainder of his body heat. I can feel my backbone beginning to waver under the cold as well. This…this would have never happened if I only listened! If I did listened to Raph and not have gotten into a fight with him then he wouldn't have run off. It always scares me whenever he'd run off but this time I pushed it aside that fear and let him go. I didn't give into my fears! The Foot keep coming one after the other as one falls…and I'm afraid that I can't hold them off any longer. If only things would just stop so that I can think; please someone stop all of this! I can't think. But that won't happen; even when I ask with mercy, even with a please, no one would listen. I didn't expect someone to listen! I continue to slice their flesh but of course blindly. I can taste the blood from my eyes; cold and bitter, just like me. Again, over and over they continue to attack and I'm so tired now, my muscles ache and my head too. I don't feel a Foot jump near my limbs and cut the arteries in them. I fall, unable to even kneel, to meet the snow on the asphalt. I wheeze pathetically as they move in. I crawl over to Mikey and place myself on top of him, as if that would protect him. If only it would. It's my fault that we waste our last moments here; I let Raph get himself killed, I charged forth the Foot headquarters without a plan. I was so furious, grief-stricken, and vengeful and I allowed everyone else to fall apart and die. They had their minds on me, me. I never thought that this would be it; I never thought that I'd let everyone down like this myself included but I guess I have right now. I've made all of us look like fools, cowards running away from our demise. I taste the salt from my tears, they're angry and sad. I hate myself, I, Hamoto Leonardo. Heh, I don't even deserve to bear the name Hamoto. Someone's shadow over looms us, making the world just a bit colder than it already is. He'll swing down his sword, claim my life and next he'll claim Mikey's. I'm so sorry, Mikey. I'm so sorry, Raph. I'm sorry everyone. You don't have to forgive me…you don't.

I wake with a start. The candles are nearly burnt out around the tatami. I'm still in one piece and as I look around, my family is still in one piece as well, still there. I lick my lips to taste my salty tears. I…I won't fail anyone; I won't let ourselves to fall apart or have doubt take us in. I'm against what the universe throws at me but when it does I'll swear to find us the answers and path we need. I'll make that much clear.


	3. Donatello

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT or the song**

Kissing Families- Silversun Pickups

I was rummaging through some trash from an apartment complex, near Harlem; for anything like a VCR player or an oven toaster. But alas, after searching for an hour, I couldn't find anything close to what I wanted. I sighed heavily keeping the frustration from taking over. This fruitless searching I've been doing for the past few days has been tiring me out; since my family was last ambushed, I took extreme measures to protect them. I bumped up security, gadgets, the Battle Shell, April's place, and, hell, even my ninjutsu! My head's been spinning on a totally different axis and without a doubt, it's going in reverse. My 9th long exhale and my brain begins to clear but something above me crashes, resounding deep in my membrane; it hurts. From the corner of my eye, I see reflections of light fall, twinkling as it does so, shatter and dim softly becoming tenfold. I look up to the left window of the 3rd floor where yellow light glares out and bounces off the adjacent building. Shadows cross over this light swiftly. I hear screams and yells; angry, deep, slurred, and quivering. As every second passes more yells erupt into a frenzy. As much as my curiosity urges me to go look, I refuse and look away to rationalize; this isn't any of my business, what can I do?, I came for one thing and it's not here. I hopped off form the dumpster but stopped dead in my tracks when I picked up the hate in a woman's voice; the words came from gritted teeth that lashed out with ferocity. That voice held an immense power that made my stomach churr violently making me palpitate with sweat. I swallowed hard and against my better judgment leapt to the fire escape, making quick time in getting up to the window. I stuck my shell to the wall, carefully inching my way to the window and peering inside. There were several people speaking, yelling, all at once; the only one who wasn't even uttering a word was the little girl huddled at the corner cradling a baby. Without a doubt the woman in front of the girl, was her mother and the voice I just heard. She kept yelling, holding back tears and choking on them. She had an accusing finger pointed at a man. His face was flushed in anger, eyes just as red and speech slurred; he was drunk, swaying a little from side to side. The others surrounded the man, holding him back from lashing out and two women were trying to calm down the woman. Only then did I realize they were talking in Spanish. I'm not too good in Spanish but I can pick up a handful of words; 'borracho', 'puta', 'infiel', 'tramposo'. 'Unfaithful? Was this what it was all about?'

"Te acostaste con mi hermana!" whoa her sister? Just then the man broke free from everyone's grasp and in a flash, slapped the woman, having shoved the other two. Yet her feet were mounted on the floor and only gritted her teeth against the pain. The other men grabbed his arms, pulled him back, and tackled him. I could feel myself being pulled inside but I couldn't risk myself being seen. I couldn't do a single thing. I felt so helpless and I just couldn't put up with this! 'Correr!' someone said. I looked back to the scene and the women were urging the woman to run away; she protested of course, pointing at her children. But one wrapped her arms around the girl, continuing to persuade her to leave. She hesitated, looking back and forth from her children to the man. She ran with tears flying behind. For a few moments, I still watched the frenzied room, the women took the girl and baby somewhere else. I leapt down again, just in time to see the woman rush out of her apartment building and run into the street. There was a car that turned a sharp corner, swerving as it continued to accelerate towards the woman. She froze in a petrified state like a deer and the car wouldn't stop. I ran as fast as I possibly could and jumped as far as I could to grab the woman. In the nick of time, I did; holding her onto my chest, protecting her head as my body skittered and scrapped against the asphalt. We collided with some garbage bags into another ally. She was breathing hard, her eyes shut tight, giving me the perfect opportunity to escape unseen. Getting off of her, I made a quick dash into the shadows of the ally but-

"Wait!" I slammed my shell to the shadowy walls hoping the night would conceal me. She was on her knee, an arm outstretched at me.

"Gra-thank you." I froze; I couldn't make myself move under her gaze. She stood up and walked cautiously towards me. I backed away, carefully holding out a hand just a little.

"No, don't come any closer." She stopped but continued to look hard at my moving shadow.

"Why?"

"My appearance would frighten you."

"You saved me, I would not be scared." She spoke with a heavy accent but nevertheless motherly. Motherly.

"I still can't let you see me…I have to go,"

"No, please, wait. Please stay with me for a while." She began to tear again; her face completely fell, revealing all that she had been holding back. 'Please' she uttered again. I, like a fool, lingered at her voice as it continued to shatter. I muttered an 'okay.' She gratefully nodded and rubbed away the tears from her eyes. There was no speaking, none whatsoever as she was calming herself down.

"Y-you were watching?"

"Yes, everything."

"The fight? The yelling?"

"Even that."

"…" her bottom lip quivered as she bit down hard on it.

"Don't take his abuse, you should leave him."

"And go where? He would follow!"

"No, there are people who can help you. You have family don't you?" she nodded but looked at me sourly.

"How much can they do? They will not be with us very long. They will tire."

"What…do you mean?"

"My husband and I…fight too much. My mother fights too much with her brothers. My cunada fights with her parents. We all fight…we all have problems…we cannot fight for others, too. We come from a family with borachos and abusers, we make problems. Fornicamos. We are disfunción ." 'Dysfunction and fornication.'

"Like your husband…and sister?" she nodded bitterly and began to curse under her breathe.

"You can fix this; you don't have to live like this."

"So easy to say, so hard to do."

"Yes, but that is the point. All of this adversity accumulated has to end and you're strong enough to do that. I know, I've heard you back there." She looked at me with a slight tint of hope in her eyes.

"Fight for just a little bit longer, for your children's happiness. Soon you'll be there, too." something clicked and flashed like a lighter just then in her face. The streetlamp glowed a little brighter it seemed, revealing the dry tear marks on her face, she smiled softly and meekly.

"I will fight…you know so much for a boy."

"Trust me I've gone through a lot myself."

"Your parents should be proud."

"I only have a father." Her face fell and I couldn't help but let tears form in my eyes. The lump in my throat grew to choke me but I couldn't let that show.

"I never knew my mother. But I'm still happy with my father and brothers. We don't always agree but it's okay, we're just fine." She didn't look so convinced but she didn't press on, instead she said, "I am sorry,"

"N-no, no, it's fine really." She smiled again at my sudden upbeat voice. I noticed then, door to her apartment building open and out came one of the women, looking right and left of the street nervously.

"That is my tia. I should go." Yet she didn't move forwards. Her back was towards me.

"What is your name?"

"Donatello."

"I am Maribel. Will I see you again?"

"I'll come tomorrow at 9." She smiled back at me, still cloaked in shadows, and ran ahead to the woman. They shut the door; I lingered for any noise, and left up into the night.

The days that followed, I spent in my lab, working, ignoring everyone and in the nights I would go off to see Maribel. She would always be there waiting, patiently, daydreaming, or holding onto foil wrapped food she prepared for me. We always talked; we opened up to each other. She told me of her youth and how she worked as a child, her family was poor back in their country, and even with a man providing money it still wasn't enough. And being the man that she had, her life only became worse. But she didn't let this get the best of her. In this time we shared, she pointed out that she was still happy as a child nevertheless and her proudest achievements were making it to this country to start again with her children. She was a fascinating woman, although no one knew that. She was a strong woman, but not many thought so. She was a good mother, the best she could possibly be, even though no one paid attention. She was all of this, she was, if anything, the ideal mother at heart. She was exactly what I wanted, too and I've found myself unable to envy her children, Lizzette and Jose, because they had her. I felt horrible for feeling this way. I could only brush away the feeling by hoping that these kids would treat her with the utmost respect and love. For her life, I wished for nothing but happiness. She was those people who deserved it the most. I talked about my family to her; everything that we did and have done but of course I held some things back. She perceived my family as being perfect but I disagreed, I knew better. We had our faults and these teeth that we kept lashing out might as well bite off our chains of heart. But what stopped it, I don't know myself; Maribel opted that it might be fear of drifting apart and the loneliness that would follow.

"Possibly,"

Mid October came soon, the cold pacing fast over the city as wind blew dead leaves into swirls. Maribel was excited for Dia de los Muertos; she promised to show me her tradition as she had done in her childhood. I waited and waited and waited for maybe four hours until my nose finally became stuffy. I hesitated to leave. I came over the next night, she wasn't there; the night after that was a no show; the third, the fifth, the seventh she didn't appear. Anger swirled in my head but I couldn't possibly stay mad at her forever. The tenth night followed shortly, finally deciding to look through her apartment window. It was locked and dark and still. I left after an hour. When I came home, Michelangelo and Raphael were idly slumped on the couch, the TV illuminating the darken room. Bored in their state of mind they only watched the news and as I was about to return to my room, the words spoken by the newswoman cast me down to hell.

"-has been convicted for the murder of his wife, Maribel-," I looked at the blaring screen in horror. What was happening was slowly killing me. I staggered to the couch, clutching onto the top of it; my brothers noticed me but I didn't batter an eye at them. I listened intently.

"…The 39 year old woman was found beaten to death early Wednesday morning by her 9 year old daughter, who along with her younger brother of 16 months, were placed under their aunt's care…" w-what? Voices began to buzz in my head as I tried to take in and digest the information but…I just couldn't help but scream and cry.

Leonardo held me close with father rubbing my shell; I babbled incoherently it seemed but they got the gist of my pain. I was carried by Raphael to my room where I continued to hideously weep. I stayed in agony, in my room, crying, screaming, and thinking until my head began to hurt. I won't ever forget her; I will never forget…the closest thing I had to a mother…! I won't! I can't...I think I know why my family can't bear to leave; we're too afraid as Maribel said. We needed each other in our lives: there was no one else we could have so close. We have a father but we didn't have a mother. We needed one but we couldn't have one; no, not in our dysfunctional family, I think you would hurt her… but 'she' is the reason we're dysfunctional to begin with.

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**A/N: Why this took a while? Cuz I couldn't think of a story. Why is it this long? Cuz I got into it. Why does is it hurt me? Cuz it's about a mother :( I actually used my mom's name, my middle name, and my dad's name for this one. I didn't think the story would be over 2k words...the angst wrote itself ._. but next time i'll cut it to 1000 at least. Btw, thank you Mewfem and I Love Kittens too for reviewing, it means so much :D Translation is at the bottom:**

**Borracho: Drunk**

**Puta: Bitch**

**Infiel: Unfaithful**

**Tramposo: Cheater**

**Te acostaste con mi hermana: You slept with my sister**

**Correr: Run**

**Fornicamos: Fornicate**

**Disfunción: Dysfunction**

**Dia de los Muertos: Day of the Dead**


	4. Michelangelo

A Praise Chorus- Jimmy Eat World

Let me tell you straight up how life's been for me: unfair. I was always told I'd never get what I want just cuz I was the baby. An immature baby at that; I goofed around a lot and actually thought I was pretty. Of course, you can never go through life with just looks. I know that the hard way and the ugly truth that I'm not the greatest looking guy in the universe. There are alien men out there with better looks than me; I know I was turned on once by one of 'em. Erm, that's a little too much info but it's not like someone's gonna read this. Anyways, these alien men are a great obstacle; ever since it became okay for aliens to interact with humans, there've been numerous alien races visiting and even staying on earth. When that happened and humans got just a bit more comfortable with them, we took the chance to come out of the sewers. Not many people batted an eye when we came out of a manhole so it was totally cool. We could finally walk under sunshine on the sidewalks! We made many more human friends and went into stores and ate at pizza places and went to skate parks and went to the amusement park and all that great stuff. It, also, became the perfect opportunity to, you know, have a girlfriend or two.

I made the first move; a senior in high school with a really nice body might I add. I was savvy and cool, I prepared a few jokes beforehand, having fantasied in my head, and I thought it'd work out. Turns out she was a lesbian…how did I not notice the Indigo Girls t-shirt and the really buff she-hulk next to her? She-hulk punched me in the face, giving me a black eye. My brothers laughed their asses off at my utter failure and I swear through the encouraging words of Splinter he had a hard time stifling his chuckles. Sigh, that was a horrible experience and I hadn't tried hooking up with a girl for a week after that.

I went out one night and my brothers already knew what I was up to; the new cologne and leather jacket was a dead giveaway. They taunted, intimidated, and bullied me, irking me until I made the stupid mistake of making a bet.

"If I get a girl's number tonight then you guys have to clean my room for two months!"

"And if you don't, you clean all three of our rooms for two months, baby brother." I remember clear as day, Leo had his arms crossed over his chest and the other two stood boldly behind them, all wearing evil smirks. There was a party by South Street Seaport, everyone invited, and I took a chance. One girl catches my eye and when we started talking she was really friendly, laughing at my jokes and touching my arm. I asked for her number and she took out a pen to write in the palm of my hand. she said goodbye, vanished into the crowd, and when I opened my palm, she wrote 'loser' on it. that broke my spirit and back for the next two months.

My 15th attempt to get a girl and I just turned 19. I was in Midtown Comics in Times Square, leafing through old comic books but I was trying to find a cute girl. Not many girls were in there that day, well more like not many girls I could distinguish **as** girls. But there was a woman. A smoking hot babe to be frank and it so happened that she was going through the old Justice Force comics. I bumped next to her and admired her taste. She and I really hit it off; talking about Silver Sentry, video games like Super Quest, music and such and such. Finally, she gave me her number, a real number might I add, and I rubbed it in my bros faces, much to their displeasure. I called her the next day to meet and she was totally cool with it. She waited in Bryant Park for me for an hour; that was my bad, I over slept and that would cost me dearly. She wasn't there anymore by the time I got there; she was picked up by a damn gorgeous alien. An alien! I lost to an alien! She even sent me a pic!

Damn…so the years went by and yeah I did go on a few dates; usually I'd see a girl once or twice until one of us moves on. I'll admit it's partially my fault I don't have a girlfriend, some girls just don't suit my taste long enough. I'm still a virgin by the way. I'm not really in to the whole one night stand thing, tis why I'm still a virgin. Raphie isn't; he comes home from work smelling like sex and brags about it. At first, it was with one girl, his girlfriend for a year, and then they broke up but that didn't stop him from getting laid. At bars and clubs, he would have his nasty one night stands, threesomes, S&M, and all that stuff. Gross. Donnie, I'm totally sure he got some too. I mean it's super obvious; he sings a lot when he's happy. He's dating this super hot alien chick he met at Harvard. Yep there's no hiding it. Leo on the other hand is still a virgin. Surprised? Yeah, well he's old school; no sex till marriage. Course, he too has a girlfriend, they're gonna be engaged soon. She's a human beauty and her name's Olivia. I'm happy for him actually but I can't help sulk in guilt and shame.

I'm pretty unhappy with my life nowadays; I have a crappy job as a tour guide, I'm sexless, relationship less, and Cocoa Puffs are becoming extinct. Oh yeah, and everyone else seems happy but me. Their lives are going swell. Pfft, now I'm usually found in the corner of a club with daiquiris to drown out the noise and pain. I just watch my bros have fun and check out girls but I never make a move. Surprisingly, I do get hit on but being a grumpy jerk I push them away. There were a couple of times when guys hit on me; complementing my color and species. They even say I probably have a huge d-piece that they'd like to ride and that's when I draw the line **even** after debating if I should just get laid with the dude…hmm maybe I should go gay…I dunno…hmm…nah, forget it. Girls have nice bodies.

What am I thinking? Going gay? Am I that desperate to change preference just cuz guys hit on me? No, no way am I gonna let my crap put me down. Yeah, I won't let this point of my life put me down. I'm 25, still young and quite frankly cute, I really shouldn't be a Debbie Downer and live my life standing back and looking around. Actually, I shouldn't be thinking about how much I missed out or any of that bad crap. Man, I'm Michelangelo Hamato, happiest turtle, pizza dude, and voted most likely to brighten up any room with my smile! Now's the time-when I'm on my feet, off the floor and good to go-to make this life mine. I can't miss out; I'm off to find some lucky girl out there and maybe tonight or the next night I'll fall in love. That's all I want; to fall in love.

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**A/N: So here is the forth chapter taking place sometime in the turtles' future. That's all I got to say hope you enjoyed and please review!** :)


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